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 What's for dinner?

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Grayfox

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Posts : 267
Join date : 2009-11-05
Location : U.S. Between the prairie and the Ozark mountains.

PostSubject: What's for dinner?   Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:44 pm

My brother wrote to me to ask what he and his wife should prepare for dinner if I, vegetarian, should come to dinner.
I answered him:

In response to your inquiry, here is a list of things we don't eat.
(Not in any order of preference).
As you may note, the list is not at all complicated:

Anything that moos.
Anything that clucks.
Primates.
Family pets.
Rodents commonly found in trees, eating acorns.
Most other rodents.
Reptiles.
Insects, not counting small ones ingested accidentally.
Horses and all other horse-like animals such as zebras.
Bears of any stripe.
Although pigs neither moo nor cluck, they are also on the forbidden list.
Pretty much all traditional Ashkenazic Kosher foods except for grape products made by non-Jews.
Pretty much all Muslim Haram foods as mentioned in the Qur'an except for grape products made by decent and affordable vintners.
Exceptions being made in the case of many Muslim Halil foods according to three sects (Shafi, Maliki, Hanbali), embracing all of the sea foods which are eaten as interpreted in the meaning of the ayahs which are “It is He Who has made the sea subject, that you may eat thereof flesh that is fresh and tender,”
We make an exception in the case of shell fish since the Qur'an state that seas are a divine benediction storage and man can benefit from them.
However we rescind the above exception when our friend Michael eats with us since he has an allergy to American-packed shell fish (they are treated with antibiotics to which he and many other people are allergic).
Elephants. Categorically.
Whales. (Although one of my students, Japanese, was arguing with an American student:
"We DO Save The Whales... We save ours in the refrigerator...!"
Snakes. Yes, they are covered under the heading of "reptiles," but they are a special case since they themselves eat many rodents which are mentioned elsewhere in this listing of forbidden fruits, and so are particularly qualified for preservation.
Bees: Products thereof, are okay.
Chocolate isn't mentioned, so is probably good for you.
Ants. Taste horrible. Why do chimpanzees even bother to catch them with little sticks and lick them off? Blech! Have you ever even tasted one? (Ant, not chimpanzee).
Monitor Lizard. Covered under reptiles, I think.
Seals, Penguins and Walrus: as above. (Not reptiles, zebras, nor chimpanzees... Probably covered under ants...).
Galatians 5 22-23 [New International Version] recommends that, "The ability to refrain from anything in excess is one of the fruits of the Spirit common to believers... Against such things there is no law."

Most American meals are centered around beef, poultry or fish. Once you eliminate those you have opened your horizons to actual hundreds of possibilities that are delicious, nutritious and fun to prepare,.
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Pete
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Join date : 2009-07-26
Age : 51
Location : UK

PostSubject: Re: What's for dinner?   Sun Apr 18, 2010 5:07 am

Ha haa haaa! that was funny!
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